so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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