playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
