I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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