hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
