he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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