Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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