Porn is love you can see.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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