Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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