DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
