please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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