That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
