i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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