IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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