she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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