Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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