in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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