Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
