I want to make a zoo with you.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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