I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
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