They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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