Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So vagazzling was a success
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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