dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
