Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
