she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just sent this text using only my big toe
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
