You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
