In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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