he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
