I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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