Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
