I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
