Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
