Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
