Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
