We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
