I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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