NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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