the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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