I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
