You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
