dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I want to fling myself into the sun
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
