I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
