But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
