So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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