Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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