I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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