So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
im holly from the hills drunk
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
