I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
