She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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