So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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