Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
send nudes
from the living room?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
