they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
